Being Kind to Ourselves
This one goes out to those who take care of people. In other words, almost everyone one I know.
When I became I massage therapist, I did it for myself. I wanted to escape the highly stressful career in Advertising and be able to end my day with people still liking me. This is a funny thought, because I have always thought of myself as combination as the stoic silent type that could maim you with the intensity of my stare... at least that is what I told myself while navigating through adolescence.
When I have the opportunity to hear how other people perceive me today, that is not what I hear. Luckily I hear things like "kind, caring, and putting other people first". This is essential in my profession now, otherwise I wouldn't have much of a clientele... but it still surprises me when I hear it.
At the beginning of my career as a massage therapist, I was given an opportunity to work with hospice clients. If you are unsure what that means, it's that your client will die within approximately 6 months. This was a deeply profound experience, but one of the take aways from it (and there are many), was the affect on what is termed the "caregivers" in the field.
The caregivers are the ones that shoulder the burden of their loved ones imminent death, in the case of hospice. However caregivers are found across the board... they are anyone that takes burden of someone else's wellbeing into their own hands so that the other person may heal/grow in someone way. Most of the time they do this on a regular basis. This includes teachers, nurses, parents, bodyworkers, doctors, siblings, spouses, etc.
When some one is experiencing something like imminent death, illness, or the growing pains of childhood, we usually (as an outside person) approach them gently and with kindness. We do not add to their burden anymore than we have to. What is interesting in this, is that the person (the caregiver) has effectively doubled their burden, yet not has expected the same kindness and gentleness in return.
We hold ourselves as caregivers to a higher regard because we 'chose' to be in the situation, or we don't have it as bad as the ill person. That might mentally help the caregiver hold back the screaming that they want to do at the car in front of them that won't turn off their blinker, but it doesn't do a thing for the very real physical stresses that caregivers put on their bodies day after day.
As caregivers ourselves as bodyworkers, it is our duty to take care of ourselves. There are lots of ways to do this. Scheduling enough time between clients, regular massage, days off, eating well, etc... Lots of people talk about this and how we should do it. They are right, of course. I think, however, the first step we need to accomplish in taking care of ourselves is probably the hardest. Be kind to ourselves.
Treat our bodies and minds with loving kindness. (If you are someone who practices meditation, Pema Chodron talks about this extensively. I highly recommend reading some of her books on this topic.) We need to allow ourselves to not be perfect and to make mistakes. Just as we didn't arrive in this world fully grown and educated, neither did we begin our journey as bodyworkers as experts.
Different from self-congratulation and bolstering self-esteem (all good things), being kind to ourselves is a form of forgiveness that allows us to be human. It's a type of humility that allows us to see those around us as human, full of flaws, and worthy of compassion. When we meet someone who asks a question, we can answer in a teaching, kind, empowering way, because we remember and recognize when we too were ignorant and made mistakes.
Being kind to ourselves allows us to see who we are, take that information and manifest it into who we want to be in positive way. Not to mention reducing our stress and helping curb those cursing sessions at bad drivers (who probably really have to go to the bathroom really bad and that's why they are driving so fast).
When I became I massage therapist, I did it for myself. I wanted to escape the highly stressful career in Advertising and be able to end my day with people still liking me. This is a funny thought, because I have always thought of myself as combination as the stoic silent type that could maim you with the intensity of my stare... at least that is what I told myself while navigating through adolescence.
When I have the opportunity to hear how other people perceive me today, that is not what I hear. Luckily I hear things like "kind, caring, and putting other people first". This is essential in my profession now, otherwise I wouldn't have much of a clientele... but it still surprises me when I hear it.
At the beginning of my career as a massage therapist, I was given an opportunity to work with hospice clients. If you are unsure what that means, it's that your client will die within approximately 6 months. This was a deeply profound experience, but one of the take aways from it (and there are many), was the affect on what is termed the "caregivers" in the field.
The caregivers are the ones that shoulder the burden of their loved ones imminent death, in the case of hospice. However caregivers are found across the board... they are anyone that takes burden of someone else's wellbeing into their own hands so that the other person may heal/grow in someone way. Most of the time they do this on a regular basis. This includes teachers, nurses, parents, bodyworkers, doctors, siblings, spouses, etc.
When some one is experiencing something like imminent death, illness, or the growing pains of childhood, we usually (as an outside person) approach them gently and with kindness. We do not add to their burden anymore than we have to. What is interesting in this, is that the person (the caregiver) has effectively doubled their burden, yet not has expected the same kindness and gentleness in return.
We hold ourselves as caregivers to a higher regard because we 'chose' to be in the situation, or we don't have it as bad as the ill person. That might mentally help the caregiver hold back the screaming that they want to do at the car in front of them that won't turn off their blinker, but it doesn't do a thing for the very real physical stresses that caregivers put on their bodies day after day.
As caregivers ourselves as bodyworkers, it is our duty to take care of ourselves. There are lots of ways to do this. Scheduling enough time between clients, regular massage, days off, eating well, etc... Lots of people talk about this and how we should do it. They are right, of course. I think, however, the first step we need to accomplish in taking care of ourselves is probably the hardest. Be kind to ourselves.
Treat our bodies and minds with loving kindness. (If you are someone who practices meditation, Pema Chodron talks about this extensively. I highly recommend reading some of her books on this topic.) We need to allow ourselves to not be perfect and to make mistakes. Just as we didn't arrive in this world fully grown and educated, neither did we begin our journey as bodyworkers as experts.
Different from self-congratulation and bolstering self-esteem (all good things), being kind to ourselves is a form of forgiveness that allows us to be human. It's a type of humility that allows us to see those around us as human, full of flaws, and worthy of compassion. When we meet someone who asks a question, we can answer in a teaching, kind, empowering way, because we remember and recognize when we too were ignorant and made mistakes.
Being kind to ourselves allows us to see who we are, take that information and manifest it into who we want to be in positive way. Not to mention reducing our stress and helping curb those cursing sessions at bad drivers (who probably really have to go to the bathroom really bad and that's why they are driving so fast).
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