It's not just wrong, it's dangerous.
It has recently come to my attention that the cable network Lifetime is planning to air a movie/TV show staring Jennifer Love Hewitt called "The Client List"
The TRUTH is this. Women don't just pick up one day drive to a spa, and become a massage therapist. Some states require over 1000 hours of study in anatomy, kineseology, ethics, business management and the hands on instruction. They have to work in a student clinic and document their work.. This is well over a year of study, not to mention the tuition... it's not cheap. If she had this required schooling (granted the hours are different depending on where you live), she would have learned about boundaries and ethics, and the constant struggle that massage therapists (male and female) everywhere have been fighting for years that it's okay to ask for sex. That a 'big tip' is worth the humiliation and presumption that you are a prostitute.
Massage therapy as a profession has been really lucky in the last 5 years. Study after study has shown the efficacy of muscle work for pain, stress, depression, and more. States are requiring certification testing and minimum education hours, and medical doctors and chiropractors are referring their patients to MTs for care. Massage therapy may be one of the oldest professions, not because of it's association with prostitution, but because the ancient Japanese culture gave this profession to blind men, because they didn't need their eyes to align the energy meridians. Ever seen a Samurai movie with the "blind samurai"? He's a massage therapist.
Despite all of this research, history, and education, there is still a prevailing myth that massage therapist will give you "a happy ending" if you know how to ask. It's joked about, it's assumed, and no body thinks it's a big deal... except the massage therapists who have to address this issue on a daily basis. When we are allowed to talk about something as a joke, as if it is okay, it becomes part of the cultural vernacular... where the lines of what is true and myth blur. The things that we don't joke about, are not okay (Hitler, child abuse, rape, etc). Which is why I never joke about my profession.
I have been a massage therapist for 8 years and in that time, i have been ogled, touched on my body in an inappropriate way while walking past the client, and asked to massage the 'groin' a little deeper. I've caught clients masturbating while I was working on their neck pain. This has happened when I worked in the large city of Chicago and while working in this small farming community called Fairmont. Every community has a list of sex offenders and child molesters. They are out there. It doesn't matter where you live.
In my practice, I've had to make very tough calls to make sure I was understanding what was happening. I had to put a stop things that made me feel uncomfortable, while working alone at night. I've been very lucky that those people did not turn on me demanding what they believed was included in a massage, because another person allowed it. What happens if they don't like my answer and force me to give them what 'they paid for'? I don't ever want to be put into that position, and I don't ever want anyone to think that when you become a MT, you have an option to sell sex as part of your professional training.
This show isn't about a prostitute who decides to use MT as a cover. It's not about a massage therapist who decides to become a criminal and become a prostitute. It's about an 'innocent housewife' who walks into a Spa and is presented with an option, to be a MT who offers 'extras' as a "as a savvy and ambitious businesswoman " ... which makes it seem that the Massage Therapy industry has an expectation of giving women this option on a regular basis. Any savvy and ambitious businesswoman who is a trained massage therapist will not have to decide to cross this boundary. I know, because I've met several of this true savvy and ambitious businesswomen.
This is why it is wrong, and why it is dangerous. It puts into the mind of the consumer that it is an option for them as well. That it is a hidden menu item that all MTs offer, you just have to be in the know. OR, if they don't, they will switch at anytime, if you are convincing enough or offer enough money.
Let me emphatically remind you; Asking your MT for sexual favors is NEVER an option.
I have more problems with this scenario which go into the realm of deterring people away from a service because of these myths, but I think this is enough for today.
I look forward to the day that I don't have to put "I'm not a prostitute" clause on my website.
"The Client List" is about Texas housewife “Riley Parks” (Jennifer Love Hewitt), who, after being deserted by her husband, is left in serious financial straits and takes a job at a seemingly traditional day spa in a neighboring town. But when she realizes the business in part also provides other services, Riley must make the difficult decision whether or not to embrace an opportunity for her to resolve her financial hardships like some of the other women in the spa do and those who choose not to. The series will follow Riley as she delicately balances a moral conflict between two starkly different lives -- one as a single mother in a conservative town struggling to provide for her family and the other as a savvy and ambitious businesswoman working with a raucous, sexy and unpredictable group of women. Cybill Shepherd stars as “Linette,” Riley’s mother; Loretta Devine plays “Georgia,” the parlor’s feisty and disorganized owner; and Colin Egglesfield portrays Riley’s brother-in-law “Evan.” .via lifetime websiteI will grant this show only this: I have not seen it yet, because it has not been released. Perhaps the description is merely to entice you to watch the show about real struggles of real women. Maybe, like many Americans, this is a show is about someone who is struggling and not about someone who doesn't choose the high road, as in the show WEEDs. Maybe. But, in those other shows, about housewives who go bad... do their choices directly affect real life people? I don't know that answer, but I know that this show has a problem that affects me directly.
Lifetime Network President and GM Nancy Dubuc said the movie project “falls in line with our strategy to expand Lifetime’s slate with unapologetic programming that will surprise audiences.”I understand that most people understand that TV isn't real. Or at least, I hope that is the case. With the introduction of "reality television" the line between what is real and what is a story has been blurred. We get angry when we find out that our reality stars have been manipulating the plot or when celebrities aren't just like their character in real life. Everything I knew about lawyers I learned from movies... until I needed to use one. A vast majority of my cooking skills I learned from watching TV. People use television/movies/media to inform themselves. This fact is the crux of my concern.
The TRUTH is this. Women don't just pick up one day drive to a spa, and become a massage therapist. Some states require over 1000 hours of study in anatomy, kineseology, ethics, business management and the hands on instruction. They have to work in a student clinic and document their work.. This is well over a year of study, not to mention the tuition... it's not cheap. If she had this required schooling (granted the hours are different depending on where you live), she would have learned about boundaries and ethics, and the constant struggle that massage therapists (male and female) everywhere have been fighting for years that it's okay to ask for sex. That a 'big tip' is worth the humiliation and presumption that you are a prostitute.
Massage therapy as a profession has been really lucky in the last 5 years. Study after study has shown the efficacy of muscle work for pain, stress, depression, and more. States are requiring certification testing and minimum education hours, and medical doctors and chiropractors are referring their patients to MTs for care. Massage therapy may be one of the oldest professions, not because of it's association with prostitution, but because the ancient Japanese culture gave this profession to blind men, because they didn't need their eyes to align the energy meridians. Ever seen a Samurai movie with the "blind samurai"? He's a massage therapist.
Despite all of this research, history, and education, there is still a prevailing myth that massage therapist will give you "a happy ending" if you know how to ask. It's joked about, it's assumed, and no body thinks it's a big deal... except the massage therapists who have to address this issue on a daily basis. When we are allowed to talk about something as a joke, as if it is okay, it becomes part of the cultural vernacular... where the lines of what is true and myth blur. The things that we don't joke about, are not okay (Hitler, child abuse, rape, etc). Which is why I never joke about my profession.
I have been a massage therapist for 8 years and in that time, i have been ogled, touched on my body in an inappropriate way while walking past the client, and asked to massage the 'groin' a little deeper. I've caught clients masturbating while I was working on their neck pain. This has happened when I worked in the large city of Chicago and while working in this small farming community called Fairmont. Every community has a list of sex offenders and child molesters. They are out there. It doesn't matter where you live.
In my practice, I've had to make very tough calls to make sure I was understanding what was happening. I had to put a stop things that made me feel uncomfortable, while working alone at night. I've been very lucky that those people did not turn on me demanding what they believed was included in a massage, because another person allowed it. What happens if they don't like my answer and force me to give them what 'they paid for'? I don't ever want to be put into that position, and I don't ever want anyone to think that when you become a MT, you have an option to sell sex as part of your professional training.
This show isn't about a prostitute who decides to use MT as a cover. It's not about a massage therapist who decides to become a criminal and become a prostitute. It's about an 'innocent housewife' who walks into a Spa and is presented with an option, to be a MT who offers 'extras' as a "as a savvy and ambitious businesswoman " ... which makes it seem that the Massage Therapy industry has an expectation of giving women this option on a regular basis. Any savvy and ambitious businesswoman who is a trained massage therapist will not have to decide to cross this boundary. I know, because I've met several of this true savvy and ambitious businesswomen.
This is why it is wrong, and why it is dangerous. It puts into the mind of the consumer that it is an option for them as well. That it is a hidden menu item that all MTs offer, you just have to be in the know. OR, if they don't, they will switch at anytime, if you are convincing enough or offer enough money.
Let me emphatically remind you; Asking your MT for sexual favors is NEVER an option.
I have more problems with this scenario which go into the realm of deterring people away from a service because of these myths, but I think this is enough for today.
I look forward to the day that I don't have to put "I'm not a prostitute" clause on my website.
Perfectly worded Erin.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ginger. I had many more I wanted to add.
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